| Joyous June |
[12 Jun 2007|10:50pm] |
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mood |
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 content |
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music |
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MISIA - INTO THE LIGHT |
] |
. . . or so that's what I would call this month if enough good things happened. Allow me to elaborate.
I have been feeling bouts of depression here and there due to the fact that I can't seem to get a job. It appears as if my efforts go completely unnoticed (or my résumés, I should say). No one wants me; therefore, I am worthless. Sure, some friends say that I may be over-qualified (for the retail jobs I applied to) but I see that as more of an optimist's condolence. It does nothing for me to know that I'm "too good" for something if it does not help me become employed.
Of course, after being told time and time again that I simply do not have the time to have yet another part-time job, I still do not listen, and thus continues my journey of being disappointed by people who are afraid of either 1) training someone who may not have all the skills (but is willing and able to learn), or 2) hiring someone who may trump them at their own game, which denotes that they are insecure about their position in their work environment. If it were me, I would take my chances with someone "over-qualified", just to at least motivate myself into amelioration by having competition.
In addition to that, I have had 1.5 nervous breakdowns within the last 5 days which is probably a record for me, considering I've never really had one before. It was an interesting experience.
The two Spring courses I am currently enrolled in are most interesting. Communication theories are absolutely fascinating, and detective fiction is a close second when it comes to grabbing my attention. The work load, however, is immense for the English class, mainly in terms of the demands to know all these concepts and applying them. I am usually all right with that, but for some reason, my mind seems to be like chocolate pudding - filled with unnecessary things that I can regurgitate.
What led to the nervous breakdown, you ask? The two classes I have are not only condensed, but classes are from 0800 - 1700 every Saturday, plus two additional hours on evenings of Tuesdays and Wednesdays. I have had to read 5 novels, many chapters of a textbook, write three papers within two weeks, juggle my piano and counterpoint lessons, counterpoint homework, Chinese school teaching on Sundays, random piano substituting, plus miscellaneous duties imposed on me upon my family who seem to think that I have all the time in the world, looking for a job and not getting results, and believing that not very many people actually truly care about me. All of that gets to you, and I could not take it any more. I broke down and became a miserable little ant, ready to be squashed by a passerby. Good thing there was God, else I do not know what would have happened to me. So many tears were cried, so many contemplations were had . . . things I even promised to never think about again.
Nonetheless, it's been a blessing that I was able to pull through. It helps to have people who can pull you back on track with God once you've strayed. I don't ever want to go off that path again. It may seem like nothing to the general reader, but it was honestly the scariest thing I've experienced thus far in my life: that one point in time where I didn't know who I am, where I was going, what I was here for, how much I was worth, whether or not anyone loved me.
Of course, things turned around a little right after I was able to return to Him, and my papers went smoothly (we'll see how the last one goes). Today, being my birthday, was pleasant. I would still like time to listen to those "Managing Stress" CDs that BBT got me (quite practical of him!). One of my roommates gave me a plant which is supposed to have wonderfully scarlet blossoms, and the other roommate gave me a T-shirt. I am very thankful for all the love and gifts that God and everyone has showered upon me today. I never thought that He would let me know again (so soon) that people do care.
I then proceeded to go shopping for gifts for other people with my birthday money that I received from my parents. I bought father an engraved pen and a grad card for my brother. Also bought snacks, printer paper, and other such necessities. It was a productive shopping trip, if I do say so myself.
My brother and father then showed up for the diploma prep class he was to have at 1700. We dropped him off, came home and had dinner, then father drove me to my 1800 class. After class, I waited for my brother (who finishes at 2100) and finished a chapter of my readings.
It has been too long since I have felt this content. Overall, it has been a day filled with unforeseen happenings and I only wish it would not happen only on my birthday. The way I see it, you never need an excuse to show someone you care, but I suppose that on the other hand, it is also good that someone has made designated occasions to remind us all of that fact though we may not follow through on it afterwards. Perhaps we all will someday.
SINCERELY,
Connie
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| Austerulous April |
[19 Apr 2007|08:39pm] |
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mood |
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 nostalgic |
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music |
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MISIA - Stay in my heart |
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Here it is, the long-awaited (or not-awaited) blog entry I have been putting off for the last two months or so. I have been too busy (what's new?) and too lazy to update. Not much happened between January and the present, in that not many things happened. However, what did happen were somewhat amusing/interesting/exciting. I shall blog about the ones I can remember.
February, nothing big happened. Reading Week was a Godsend, as always. I wish they gave us less work to do over the break though. It's not really a break if you have things due right when you get back from the break. In the world of academia, I am somewhat flourishing this year, though amelioration is still greatly appreciated. Then again, that's really up to me to accomplish.
March was rather busy since many projects were due after Reading Week. I managed to fall behind in my English readings but I caught up in the end. Sure, I didn't have to read everything, but I'm just the sort of person who likes to; I'd feel incomplete if I didn't. English class is wonderful and I always learn so much more about literature through the in-class discussions. The problem is retaining everything, I suppose. Then I ask myself, "Self, where would you use any of this information outside of the classroom?" It's certainly not small-talk material, nor is it really much of an icebreaker in social settings. Perhaps I am doomed to seem ignorant for the rest of my life.
Now we come to April. It is the middle of April and it is snowing. For goodness sakes, when will it end? At least it did not snow on BSD (see my BSD entry from last year if you don't know what this means, if you can find it at all), but that doesn't matter to me. I don't go to BSD. In fact, I worked my backside off this year on BSD, but I saw how amusing it was from a sober point of view. I was on my way to my COMS class when 8 girls appeared blocking off the hallway, trying to help this one girl walk the length of the hallway. However, it was practically a case of the blind leading the blind, because they were all inebriated.
This month, finals are upon me, and they're quite heavy. Final reports and projects and presentations all over the place like children in Disneyland. Friday the 13th was actually not that bad, though I had to walk many times back and forth for various meetings with different groups and people, give two oral presentations and finally, a long evening of working as a server for this catering business, which was a position I accepted semi-last-minute. It was actually quite entertaining and people really like it when you remember them. Jokes were told, old people think I'm charming, and this one man thought (playfully) that I had something against him because I (purposefully) never poured his wine all the way to the top of the glass.
All in all, at least everything is over now (almost). One more final to go. Tomorrow, I am going to a dinner and a movie with PO, then Saturday, it's off to Chinatown to see my brother compete in the Chinese school's karaoke competition, dinner with my cousin and BBT, then the opera afterwards with BBT. Sunday is work and church (as usual) and cramming for my English final. Monday is technically the last day I need to do any more work. My last final exam is in the morning, my piano lesson in the afternoon, then my counterpoint lesson.
Met up with my best friend Lawa and MS today, the latter of whom I haven't seen in three years. Much catching up was done, and there was a lot of reminiscing about "the ol' days" where Lawa and I would watch MS get into various antics and pull her out of trouble. There was a great sense of nostalgia, and I never thought that I'd be able to look back on so much. I never thought that I would live to be old enough to be remembering such things with friends in a coffee shop in the middle of a snow fest. It's very storybook-like in many ways. I wish the fiction I'll eventually write can feel as good as real life.
Not that it takes something like this to remind me of the importance of childhood friends, but this day definitely made me appreciate my relationships all the more with the people I grew up with. It also motivates me to put more effort than I already have into connections that I still have with old comrades, new friends, and the ones that have yet to come.
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| Jeering January |
[29 Jan 2007|09:54pm] |
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music |
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Louis Leerink - 永遠の豊穣 |
] |
Props to CF for thinking of a blog title for me so I didn't have to go search my scattered brain for a J-word. I needed to make this blog entry before the end of January like I needed to drink all my milk before it expires. Yes, that's a real need.
I've been listening to the weirdest things lately - things I normally would not listen to. Like audiobooks. I resorted to audiobooks, darn it. I feel slightly ashamed to admit it, but it is true. However, those are for my "leisure reading" books, not textbooks. It is rather sad that I do not even have time/effort to read for leisure, but I must say this: God bless the genius who invented audiobooks. It saved me hours and days, AND I was able to "read" what I would not have gotten around to for years.
January has been very, very taxing, in more ways than one. I have many comments, many complaints, little competence, and less confidence. Honestly, so many things happened in the last month, I don't even know where to begin. As most people who follow my blog would know, I usually don't even begin.
School, for one, always creates a dent in my sleeping pattern and my wallet. The administration is especially troublesome, pulling me this way and that, just because I wanted to register for my co-op work term by special assessment as a 6th course. Almost every department told me that some other department was responsible for giving the course. In other words, no one knew how to deal with my situation because it has apparently never been done before. Thankfully, that is all fixed now, so let's all praise the Lord. I have never taken 6 courses before, so we'll see how it goes.
After school life, the other one would be my work life. The children are still as corrupt as ever, and it's not even my fault. I blame the parents (because they let their children play GTA and watch Family Guy) and the public school system (because they have children who pick up sexual slang from all the shows that other children don't watch, thus all the shows are covered by at least one child who fills it in for the rest of them). The teaching aspect is not difficult at all. The challenging part is the factor I cannot control, which is the retention rate. Fortunately, after the initial report card period, I noticed that many of them are doing quite well, despite what happens in the classroom at times. Only about 4 students out of a total of 28 failed last semester. I am proud of them for at least trying (sometimes).
Next up is the social life, which has been a little slack lately, since my schedule is so tight nowadays. On top of all the school work and no breaks between classes, I also have piano lessons, counterpoint, teaching on Sundays, church on Sunday evenings, and my semi-part-time job as a substitute piano teacher. I am thinking of applying for another part-time job. So the equation is as follows for this semester:
[(6 courses + 1.5 part-time jobs + 2 music-related lessons) - (365 brain cells / day)] x 4 months = -1422 Social life
Some Math major come and correct that; it's probably way off. However, just because it looks incorrect doesn't necessarily mean that it feels inaccurate. Now that I've made my entry and lost the interest of all my blog readers, I shall go back to work.
SINCERELY,
Connie
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| BBT Made Me Do This |
[29 Jan 2007|07:17pm] |
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music |
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Maaya Sakamoto - おきてがみ |
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1. PICK ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
The one behind my left knee that's shaped like an almost-right-triangle? Got it from a motorbike accident. I shan't elaborate.
2. WHAT ARE ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
This very patterned dark green wallpaper, 2 FMA posters, one FMA wallscroll, one FMA calendar, poster of Van Gogh's "Starry Night", and a Vampire Hunter D wallscroll.
3. WHAT DOES YOUR PHONE LOOK LIKE?
I have a Samsung X450 in red.
4. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
I want to win the lottery every 3 years so I don't have to worry about my financial future.
5. WHAT DO YOU MISS RIGHT NOW?
It's usually people that I miss, not things. But if it had to be something, I'd say sleep.
6. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION(S)
I don't think I have any, actually, except maybe notes and letters that people give me on birthdays and at Christmas.
7. POLAROIDS OR PHOTOBOOTHS?
Photobooths are fun.
8. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
No.
9. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
Not really.
10. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
God makes me cry a lot, but in a good way.
11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOGNE / PERFUME?
I don't have one.
12. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF PROPOSING?
I'd rather be a "proposee". Is that a word?
13. IF YOU CAN EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Pasta.
14. DO YOU LIKE ANYBODY?
I like lots of people.
15. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND?
I don't like brands. I just like places that have my size.
16. WHAT'S YOUR DREAM CAR?
I just want a Lexus.
17. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
I'd probably try not to?
18. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU?
Tell it to their face.
19. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST?
Stupidity, inefficiency, and unproductivity, even if it comes from myself.
20. YOUR WEAKNESSES?
I worry way too much.
21. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
No.
22. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED THIS OUT?
Finishing up my Japanese homework.
23. IF YOU COULD GET PLASTIC SURGERY WHAT WOULD IT BE?
I wouldn't get it. Just give me the money for it and I'll use it for something better.
24. WHY DID YOU FILL OUT THIS SURVEY?
BBT told me to.
25. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL BECAME ILLEGAL?
I would do nothing. I am indifferent.
26. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
World peace.
27. WHAT'S YOUR WORST HABIT?
Worrying too much.
28. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING CD ON THE SHELF?
Billy Gilman's "Classic Christmas" CD.
29. HAVE YOU EVER TOLD A SECRET YOU SWORE NOT TO TELL?
No.
30. DO LOOKS MATTER?
To a certain extent.
31. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?
I bottle it up.
32. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME?
HR
33. DO YOU TRUST OTHERS EASILY?
Yes. Perhaps that's also a flaw.
34. FAVORITE DANCE?
Waltz.
35. ARE YOU SARCASTIC?
Once in a while.
36. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL?
I don't even know anymore. Other than the obvious, like fidelity, compassion, chemistry, ambition, romanticism, efficiency, etc.
37. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
Too many to list.
38. WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR THE YEAR?
Do better in school, excel at work.
39. WHO/WHAT DO YOU MISS MOST RIGHT NOW?
My mother.
40. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?
HIMEKAMI's "Transcending Love"
41. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Their sense of humor and eloquence. But if they don't talk, then the hair and eyes.
42. FAVORITE DRINK(S)?
Water, milk, juice.
43. ZODIAC SIGN:
Gemini.
44. SIBLINGS?
One younger brother.
45. DO YOU LIKE SUSHI?
I love sushi.
46. LAST THING YOU WATCHED?
Don't remember.
47. IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD IT BE?
London.
48. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
December 25.
49. WHAT IS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT?
Gas for the car.
50. IS ANYONE IN LOVE WITH YOU?
Yes.
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| Nosophobic November |
[02 Nov 2006|08:01pm] |
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mood |
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Bernadette Peters - Unexpected Song |
] |
Yes, as the title of this blog suggests, I have been going through a period of paranoia where I could have sworn I had every single disease under the sun, because my body has been expressing way too many symptoms of every illness I know and didn't know of until I did research. For some reason, I never gave a second thought to cancer, and if irony will have it, that's probably what I will die from later in life.
So, I suppose this is a bit of an early entry, since it is only the second day of the month. Perhaps I will make two entries instead of one this month. Anyhow, for those of you who don't know, mother bought me a laptop because she wanted my desktop, and I must say that it is a very convenient tool, a good investment, etc. No, I am not regretting not getting one earlier. I still like desktops, but they're not portable. I have been amazing myself in Religious Studies class with my typing skills, actually, which is kind of odd since I never impress anyone, much less myself. I don't even have to look down at the keyboard, I don't have to pause, I am fast, and 98% of the time, the typing is flawless. I am proud of myself (hooray).
Aside from that, everything else has been rather low-key as of late, if you exclude all my health problems. Choir is nice, I have memorized a few of the songs already; Communications Studies is fun, except for all the big projects; Religious Studies is sometimes interesting, albeit boring the rest of the time; Psychology is all right, if only the tests aren't so difficult (I have another midterm this Saturday); piano lessons are going relatively well, but counterpoint homework really stresses me out.
Working at Chinese school, however, is a mixed blessing. Yes, I like to teach, it's fun and all, but like the effectiveness of a good speech, it really depends on the audience as well. Most of the children don't want to be there; they want to go home. Well, guess what? So do I. They should just learn to either suck it up, or be quiet and let me teach because I actually try to make things fun. But why doesn't that work? Because no one can hear me. People who think girls talk a lot should really take a look at my class.
In other news, I cannot wait until next week. I can finally get a long-overdue check-up! I am expecting it to be a full physical, so that should be fun, but I probably only think that because I've never had one before. When will this week be over? It seems like it is taking forever.
SINCERELY,
Connie
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| Obdurate October |
[19 Oct 2006|12:21am] |
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Il Divo - All By Myself (Sola Otra Vez) |
] |
I know, I'm late. Please don't dock any marks.
So, as the title of the entry suggests, October has been a rather stubborn month, but surprisingly, not without its unexpected flexibilities. Too many things happened to recount, therefore I will not.
Regarding school, I have decided to not take up a co-op job opportunity until May for the following reasons: 1) There are some classes that I can only take during the year, because they don't offer them in Spring, 2) I can be in the Women's Choir since it's an all-year course, 3) I get more holidays because there are less national holidays/breaks from May to August, and 4) my best friend came back from Africa and is attending the same university, so why wouldn't I want to spend more time with her?
The classes I'm taking are not too bad. Women's Choir is great as always, and I love the fact that we get to sing songs that are not English. I was looking really forward to the Religious Studies class, but that turned out to be more history-based than content-based. Psychology class is nothing special: lots of short movies are shown in class though, but the class is 4 hours long, just like my Communications Studies class, which is way more fun. If only we didn't have to do speeches. I dislike public speaking. I don't mind it, but I'd rather not do it.
As for other things, I am still a walking contradiction, I still watch anime, I still like chocolate and eggs and chocolate eggs, I still have a semi-pseudo case of onychotillomania, and I still like pie.
Career-wise, I got a promotion this year, perhaps due to the good performance score I gave this summer while teaching Grades 4 to 6? Do they even score us on that? Anyhow, I am currently teaching Grade 2 at the Chinese school on Sundays only, and I teach 30 minutes of music to the Grade 1 class in the morning. The pay has risen significantly, but somehow still seems insufficient for everything I have to deal with every week. All the yelling and talking-loudly takes a toll on my poor throat. Oh, well.
It is now a quarter past midnight. I should sleep soon, since my class starts at 0930. I found a little time to organize my home lately, all the laundry is done, all the dusting is over, so I feel very comfortable at home. Or at least, as comfortable as I can be. Also, ever since Lawa came back, my social calendar has been more active than usual. I feel like such a recluse. Anyhow, bed time soon. I should drink my milk, brush my teeth, wash my face, say my prayers, and end my blog entry.
SINCERELY,
Connie
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| "Bird"ens |
[29 Jun 2006|11:30am] |
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Nobuo Uematsu - Mambo de Chocobo |
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I was not surprised to discover that the birds outside my window commence their chirping concerts at approximately 0400 hours. The worst thing is that the sounds experience a growth in volume in direct proportion to the amount of sunlight filtering through my venetian blinds. It does not help that there is a tree right outside my bedroom window. Thus, once I am awakened in the morning, it is difficult to go back to sleep with all the rhythmic chirping in the background. I suppose that is life, so I will have to live with those birds. I want winter to come back.
Today is much nicer, weather-wise. We have had some rather hot weather these past few days, and because of that, I find it quite a task to try to get anything done. I just want to sit in front of my computer and sip ice-cold water, and my Muse decides that it is way too hot to stay in my head, so I get no help with my homework whatsoever.
I still have my 2 final projects to complete, and both require some sort of creative work. I have not done any creative writing in a very long time, so I feel slightly out-of-touch. I will persevere and do my best to finish one of them by the end of today so I can hand it in tomorrow. I feel like I never get a break. Ever. And the feeling is so discouraging. At least I have decided not to find another part-time job in addition to what I am already doing for the Chinese school in July. I cannot take any more.
SINCERELY,
Connie
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| Jeune Juin |
[01 Jun 2006|10:05am] |
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Angela Aki - This Love |
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Excuse the alliterated French title, but that is what happens when you are reading a Victorian novel that is supposed to be in English, but about a third of the thing is actually in French. At least they provide translation notes, but when you know a little French, sometimes the translations given can seem a little inaccurate or does not really do the sentence justice.
So, another month has gone by, June is "young", and I suppose about half of the semester is gone already. So much work to do, still, and I do not feel any more relaxed than I would be during the regular school year. I continue my search for a summer job, or just any job, really. They say it is easy to be employed in this city, which could be right, if I weren't so darned picky. At least I don't deny my fussiness.
My Victorian Literature course is going very well thus far. I will leave for class soon this morning to conduct mini-discussions in class. I hope nothing goes wrong (even though I probably jinxed it now).
Otafest was fun, but only when I was working. That sounds so contradictory. When I wasn't working, there wasn't anything to do. Maybe I just had bad luck with when my break times occurred?
Signed up and got admitted into the co-op education program, which means I'll probably have to take more than 4 years to finish my degree now (and that's if everything goes well). I look forward to getting some work experience, and I just hope that I can find a job that is suited to my tastes and skills, and one where I can learn a lot from. If it is in your religious inclination to do so, please pray for me.
SINCERELY,
Connie
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| BSD Blows |
[13 Apr 2006|10:08pm] |
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Michiru Oshima - Kelas (Let's Dance) |
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. . . like a leafblower. I don't know. For those of you who are (happily) unaware, BSD is Bermuda Shorts Day, where UC students, their friends, and various other odd people show up on campus to consume large quantities of alcohol. I believe this must be the one day of the year where campus security actually gets to do something.
Perhaps I shouldn't judge like that. After all, I didn't go to the actual BSD event itself. Of course, I probably wouldn't have gone anyway if I had the money and the time. Personally, I think it's a silly way to spend a few hours and to lighten the wallet . . . and the head.
Finished my last research paper at 0630 this morning, but did not go to bed until around 0700. I thought it would be difficult to fall asleep with the sunlight seeping through the windows, but it apparently wasn't. I guess I was that tired. Anyhow, because the first 2 classes of the day were cancelled, I had the luxury of sleeping in until 1300, which is almost a whole 6 hours of sleep. More than the average!
Handed in research paper and went to the only class I still had. Not surprisingly, only 1/3 of the class showed up. We still discussed some relevant points that may appear on the final exam, but we were dismissed 30 minutes early. Waited for the bus at the bus stop, and it seems that inebriated people were crawling all over the place . . . and climbing. It was very amusing to see two drunk guys trying to help one another climb a tree, and pathetically, I might add. They gave up after a while.
As well, a tipsy guy got on the bus, and his cell phone rang for about 20 times before he realized where the sound was coming from. He flipped it open to answer, but there was no response. He had forgotten to press a key to answer, so he shut the phone again, it kept ringing, he tried again, and pressed a key this time, and carried on a semi-slurred conversation with the person on the other end.
In conclusion, drunk/tipsy people are weird, but entertaining, as long as the one watching them is not getting emotionally scarred by anything. Anyhow, 2 finals left, plus a poetry book review. After that is the music history exam, then Spring semester starts. I feel like I need a vacation.
SINCERELY,
Connie
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| The Ides of March |
[06 Mar 2006|01:05am] |
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mood |
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Koda Kumi - KAMEN (feat. Tatsuya Ishii) |
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"It can be said that all these things could have happened as it were by chance." - The Ides of March (Plutarch)
Here is my first (and maybe last) blog of the month of March, by popular demand (even if it was the demand of one person; yeah, I'm looking at you, CF, but not from a window because I do not stalk). So, since a certain someone suggested that I quote some literary source, I did. Do not take that to mean that I am a doormat, or I shall hit you with one.
Well, I did not throw that quote out there for fun. It is relevant in that 1) it is indeed the month of March (though, technically, I should not even be posting this until the 15th of March), and 2) it describes many things that have happened lately in my life in just the first two months of the year alone (not to say that the last year had not been pretty amazing as well). Whether everything has happened by chance or by acts of divine intervention, I shall never know, though I am quite convinced that it is the latter, but is the former and latter not one and the same when you look at it from a certain perspective? I am being vague on purpose, yes.
So, like I was just telling some people today, being an English major has become my excuse for everything: for not understanding confusing things, and for anything potentially confusing that I may say. Yes, it's not that I don't understand: it's just that I don't think that way! It's not that I say abstract things: you just don't understand what I'm saying! It's almost like Shakespeare. Only not.
Here ends my entry because I am too tired to write anymore, but a quick academia update: school is going fine. I am doing well in all my courses except the Contemporary Theory course. Not to say that I am failing or something, because I am far from it, but just not as well as I would like to. Many essays and research papers this month alone, so I shall get some more rest soon.
SINCERELY,
Connie
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| Second Semester |
[01 Feb 2006|11:03pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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Sally Yeh - 情人知己 |
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The second semester has been going quite well. I have managed to stay ahead in my course readings thus far, and if not ahead, then at least on time. The current semester has a much lighter workload than the previous one, and I am grateful for that. Although, no matter how much/little work I have, I seem to always end up getting the same amount of sleep.
There is not much to blog about, as nothing overly eventful happened . . . nothing that I can share in a blog anyway. The constant routine becomes boring after a while, and sometimes, I feel lonely. I thought it would be difficult to feel lonely with 3 roommates, but it happens. Most of us don't go out of our rooms very often, and it just seems like everyone is busy with schoolwork or their jobs, so I try to make as much conversation as I can when I know they are not busy.
Still, I want to try to do something this month with just the 4 of us (time-permitting) and see if there's any way to bond. However, there is also the question of whether or not the roommates actually want (or feel the need) to bond. I think a strengthened relationship between the 4 of us would make living together more enjoyable. I know there is the issue of time, but if possible, I would like to work around that.
Sometimes, I wish this semester could be over already; though, I know that when it does end, I would wish that it had not gone so quickly.
SINCERELY,
Connie
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| Benevolent Beginnings |
[09 Jan 2006|07:29pm] |
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ALI PROJECT - ナルシスノワール |
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Today was the first day of the second semester of my second year at the university. I was slightly restless the night before, so that resulted in me not being able to fall asleep. My body compensated for that by "helping" me sleep in until 20 minutes before class started. I frantically jumped out of bed, gurgled some Listerine, threw some clothes on, woke up the roommate who was still home (she asked me the night before to wake her before I left), and raced down the front steps to where my lovely Lexi was parked.
The traffic cooperated by having the roads clear of other vehicles while I swerved around unintentionally as I rummaged for parking change with only one hand on the steering wheel and no eyes on the road for 3 seconds at a time. I really am starting to think that I drive just a little too dangerously for everyone else's own good.
Got to the school parking lot in record time, and realized that it would take a while to find a parking spot at that time of day. Fortunately, I caught another car pulling out and I proceeded to claim the spot. I got my morning exercise by speed-walking all the way to class. Took a seat at the back of the classroom and managed to be only 2-3 minutes late or so.
Received my last English test back after class and I almost gasped aloud. See, I had been worrying over the test from time to time over winter break because I knew after the test that I made a critical error in the scansion section by confusing iambic meter with trochaic and vice versa. Needless to say, I thought I failed. Amazingly, I obtained an 80% because my professor is a wonderfully benevolent man and let that blunder slide (though I did lose one mark in the process, but I'm not complaining). I got full marks on the short answer section, so that helped, too.
Had lunch with my godmother and two of her friends after my one class of the day and that went fairly well. Tried hot & sour soup for the first time and I do not mind it, but I would not go and eat it intentionally. As well, now that my Wednesday afternoons are relatively free, godmother wants to go out with me more often for shopping, lunch-ing, chatting and whatnot. I hope I will have time for more of these things in the future.
SINCERELY,
Connie
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| The 12 Days of Christmas |
[09 Jan 2006|05:02pm] |
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Hitomi Shimatani - Z!Z!Z! -Zip!Zap!Zipangu!- |
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Here it is, as promised. It took me less than 5 minutes to write. Am I lazy, you ask? What do you think? I know I could have spent more time on this to make it better, but this is the best you are going to get. I went back to recall what had happened over those 12 "memorable" days and put them in reverse order below.
The 12 Days of Christmas
On the twelve days of Christmas
the season gave to me:
one edgy family,
cars that die on me,
carolling at 0°,
cleaning and laundry,
yards that are dirty,
one box with one key,
research and poetry,
five more months of school...
fewer hours of sleep,
tree-trimming fun,
no speeding tickets (!)
and an A- in Japanese.
That's right, kids, I ended up with an A- for my Japanese class. Better than my Biology mark. I know I did not really "trim" my tree, as I did not have any gardening tools, and it is a fake tree anyway, but it works.
SINCERELY,
Connie
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| The 12th Day of Christmas |
[26 Dec 2005|11:23pm] |
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peaceful |
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BoA* - Love Can Make a Miracle |
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. . . was yesterday.
Give me a break. It has been a long week, and I think I deserve a little rest on Christmas Day.
On the twelfth day of Christmas
the morning gave to me
a family gathering under the tree.
It is sad how only presents and a holiday brings our family together. Then again, none of us really have time for each other during the rest of the year. I really only like the atmosphere of it all. Opening presents does not really excite me. I sit there on the ground and do my part to open my share of the gifts just to fit in. Oh, the peer pressure.
Nonetheless, I think I received some pretty decent stuff, but I never get what I want for Christmas, really, which is nothing. I tell people all the time that I do not want anything, but do they give me what I want? No. How hard is it to just get someone nothing? I am saving them time and money, and I am saving myself some space. Not that the gestures are not immensely appreciated, though. Thank you all the same, everyone.
My brother, one of the cousins and said cousin's parents woke up at circa 0400 today to line up at Future Shop. I am inclined to think them completely nuts. I also had to awaken at 0700 so we could leave at the designated 0730, but that got postponed to 0800 somehow. No matter. We still got to the mall nice and early, and I ended up spending $144.45. Too much for my liking, but I guess I got some pretty good stuff. I usually get better things on Boxing Day than on Christmas Day, materialistically speaking. Not that I am all that materialistic, but them's the facts.
My family and my cousins' family had dinner with a friend's family tonight after the hectic day of shopping, and it was quite nice to see my friend again, though the last time I saw her was that night when we went carolling. Dinner was so-so, or maybe my tastebuds just weren't working right. Who knows?
Mother and father are currently downstairs preparing the guest room, and I am organizing my room and cleaning out whatever I do not need. These tasks are more difficult than I thought. Since when did I have so much stuff? Either way, I am not sure if I will write out a finalized version of my last 12-13 days of Christmas. I suppose I can if I have the time to spare though.
SINCERELY,
Connie
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| The 11th Day of Christmas |
[24 Dec 2005|11:58pm] |
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drained |
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music |
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Kenji Ito - Colors |
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Today was a horrible day. Kind of.
On the eleventh day of Christmas
my dear car gave to me
a day of continual misery.
All right, honestly, I love my car to death, but I have a feeling it was either trying to spite me for scratching it the other day, or it is getting up there in age and is dying.
There is some kind of leak somewhere, and my fuel tank is emptying faster than it should. It is not really safe to drive, but I have no choice. I had to go to HR tonight, plus run a few errands before I leave the city with my grandmother. It has been a bad day since I woke up, but at least it has gotten a little better now.
I stayed up talking on the phone till about 0500 hours, went to bed, and grandmother's phone call woke me up at 0900. Technically, I only got about 3 and a half hours of sleep. Not good to be so tired on a day this busy. She had apparently run out of medication and wanted me to take her to the clinic. I was tired, I was cranky, but I told her I would. Then I called mother (who was already up) and complained, because I still had a lot of things to get done (cleaning, etc.) before leaving my house. She proceeded to call grandmother, who really did not need to take the medication right at the designated time, apparently, so we forwent the clinic idea (and the trip she initially wanted to take to the Buddhist temple).
So, I leave later that morning to go to grandmother's house after loading the multitude of bags and boxes into the trunk. I get there, and it took an hour before my grandmother could leave the house. Went to Chinatown to purchase pastries mother wanted, and grandmother remembered that she wanted to put some apples on the altar at her house, so we had to go back. Lo and behold, the car doesn't start. I was exhausted, trying not to abstain from screaming. I had had it by then, really I had. I had faith in my car though, so I did not give up. Tried to start it about 20 times, and the 21st time was the charm. I was scared to turn the car off again, in case it would not start up once more.
We went back to her place for another 20 minutes, left for Chinatown, and grandmother wanted to buy something for grandfather, so I stopped in the parking lot and waited for her (so I don't have to turn the car off or pay for parking). She took an hour. I was so afraid she had gotten lost. If she had, I wouldn't have been able to go look for her because I could not abandon my car. I literally sat there and cried. I felt really stressed out, and everything was building up, ready to pour forth in this one moment of solitude. I felt like such an idiot. I even laughed at myself. I suppose anyone would have.
Finally got home, unloaded the bags and boxes, delivered some things, wrapped a few presents, and took a nap. Then we went to a friend's family restaurant for a dinner party type of thing. The food was great, lots of cheese involved, which I like. Dinner conversations were lively, plenty of odd stories to go around.
There are 5 boys downstairs playing Soul Calibur III right now. Perhaps I should go, but judging from the luck I've had today, I don't think I should even try my hand at anything that requires skill right now. Christmas is tomorrow. Or in 4 minutes. Either way, the entry on Christmas Day will probably be the last consistent one I make for a while.
SINCERELY,
Connie
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| The 10th Day of Christmas |
[23 Dec 2005|11:21pm] |
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 anxious |
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BoA* - My Prayer |
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Today was a slightly eventful day. I shall summarize briefly.
On the tenth day of Christmas
the season gave to me
a night to sing in the street.
Christmas time is drawing closer, and tonight, I went carolling with a group of friends after piano lessons. I had a little trouble finding the church to meet everyone at, but at least I found it in the end . . . an hour early. I did not know until I gave my friend a call that I was early, so she suggested that I just head to the nearby mall to eat dinner first. So, a little after the designated time, we set off on our little carolling journey, hoping that people will appreciate what we are doing, and not be too frightened by our voices.
We found out that people are more attached to their big-screen TVs than people outside in the chilly weather spreading joy through music. I am disappointed. Of course, not everyone is like that. Some people donated money, and we got one round of applause. However, there were only two cases of those, and frankly, I think people should not be so rude as to step away from the window and hide when they see us outside.
Just got home, and it is currently after 2300 hours. Roommate was not home and I must admit that I got a bit flustered. She did not tell me if she was going anywhere, so I got so desperate that I checked her closet to hope that I will not find her dead body inside. Good thing there was nothing in there but clothes and other such items. Maybe I read too many books.
Tomorrow, I head home to HR. I hope the trip will be smooth, because my poor car seems to be leaking, which means I will have to fill up before I leave. As well, I have to pick up my grandmother enroute. Many things to load into the car as well, which means I have to start leaving even earlier, therefore, I should go to bed early as well.
SINCERELY,
Connie
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| The 9th Day of Christmas |
[22 Dec 2005|11:25pm] |
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Il Divo - Ti Amerò |
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It will be Friday tomorrow already. This week has gone by so fast, and yet, it also seems as if it is taking forever.
On the ninth day of Christmas
my chore list gave to me
some cleaning and lots of laundry.
I vacuumed the house today, right before my cousin's friend (who lives nearby) came to pick me up along with my roommate. We ended up making him wait a bit since I had just finished the vacuuming and was putting everything away. Before I left, I put the clothes in the dryer. Most of the early afternoon was a blur, because I was probably only half-awake.
We had a late lunch at my cousin's place, then headed to the nearest movie theatre to catch the 1700 showing of King Kong. Excellent movie, especially in terms of effects. There were a few 2-second scenes where I actually winced, and I do not do that very easily. The characters were casted nicely, and the acting was satisfactory. My roommate and I really liked the captain.
Cousin's friend drove us back home and we had dinner, and are now sitting in our respective rooms. I am planning on going to bed earlier today. I always say that, but I never do it. I am too lax when it comes to my own bed time. I should be getting more sleep, but I am not. That problem needs to be fixed sooner or later.
Speaking of which, this morning, I received a phone call. When I answered it, I was pleasantly surprised to find a friend that I had not talked to in a while on the other end of the line. We talked for a few minutes about school and whatnot, and decided to meet some time over break. Shortly after noon, my brother calls to ask if he really has to come. He sounded like he didn't want to, so I told him he didn't have to. But he should at least contribute something, else I am going to scrap the idea of a joint gift for my parents and just give myself all the credit, because I was the only one who did anything anyway.
The present is still incomplete. Perhaps I will take another trip to the mall tomorrow morning or something.
SINCERELY,
Connie
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| The 8th Day of Christmas |
[21 Dec 2005|11:03pm] |
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mood |
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nostalgic |
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BoA* - Girls On Top |
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I am tired again. Why do I get so tired sometimes?
On the eighth day of Christmas
the weather gave to me
some unwelcome slush and debris.
The state of the yards is . . . icky. Dead leaves and dirty snow all over the place. I was actually hoping that it would be cold this Christmas because, to me, it just does not feel like Christmas unless it's at least below the freezing point.
Today was a bit of a busy day. Woke up early to catch the bus to go to the LRT station, because I did not want to be late, but wound up being 45 minutes early. Of course, I usually do prefer being 45 minutes early over being 45 seconds late. Anyhow, met with my friend, accompanied him to buy some groceries, then went up to his apartment to chat. It's been a while since I've had an intelligent conversation partner (to talk to in person, that is), and it was a little nostalgic when the topic of people we knew in high school came up.
After that, I watched him play some Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes. Honestly, that game reminded me of Xenosaga I. The cut-scenes in the former are about as long as the ones in the latter (there was this one part that looked like some educational science classroom video as well, about nuclear waste). As well, mother kept calling throughout and instructing me to go home soon since it was early afternoon and she was expecting someone at my house to pick up some things.
Later that afternoon, my uncle came to seek my assistance in his search for a Care Centre nearby, where his father was staying (I am not related to this particular grandfather by blood). Took a while to find the road, even with the map, as the map was not all too clear. Finally found the Care Centre, and I stayed to watch the two men chat for a bit, and then we left.
I came home, had something to eat, and worked on the Christmas present for my parents. My brother is apparently coming up here tomorrow afternoon so we can both do something about this gift, and my cousin is tagging along. I wonder what I will get done tomorrow. Do I even have anything to get done?
SINCERELY,
Connie
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[20 Dec 2005|10:50pm] |
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Shiro Hamaguchi - Elegant Taste |
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My semester is finally over, and it feels absolutely delightful.
On the seventh day of Christmas
my roommate gave to me
a box which contained a big key.
One of my roommates left for home this morning, and the other roommate gave me the Key to Happiness for Christmas. No, I am not using that figuratively, and I only know because she did not wrap it. It's actually a key, and it has "HAPPINESS" etched onto it. Simple as it may be, I am rather fond of it. Not sure what one is supposed to do with the Key to Happiness though. Maybe someone needs to buy me a Box of Happiness to complete the set. No, wait, I already have that, too. It's that box of chocolates nestling in one of the drawers beside my desk.
Spent a little time with my cousin and her friend in SH building on campus today (I did not find out until today that SH actually has more than 2 floors). We exchanged gifts, chatted for a while, and decided to do something on Thursday, since her exams would be over by then, and the remaining roommate (who is actually one of my cousin's friends even way before I met her) and I have free time. After my business was finished there, I strolled to the campus bookstore to purchase one of my textbooks for next semester. Luckily, it is not listed under textbooks, as it is a novel (though most other novels used in classes are classified as texts), therefore, I made use of my Frequent Book Buyer card to get 20% off. It's nice when I save money. I need it, since I'm feeling broke after all that Christmas shopping.
Also . . . 7 hours! I have not had that much sleep in a while. I am very glad that I finished that research paper when I did, else I would not have been able to get all these other things done today, such as more Christmas shopping. I still cannot find anything to stuff into the thing that I am giving to my parents. What to do? Little brother does not seem to be contributing much either.
Came home after shopping, had dinner, then proceeded to make plans for tomorrow with a friend. Afterwards, I went to play the lonely piano that I have not touched in many weeks. It feels good to be playing again, and I had printed off quite a few songs last week that I wanted to try out when I had more time. Played some of the Tokimeki Memorial Piano Collections, and I could not believe how clumsy I can be sometimes. It is easy, but I hit the wrong notes too often for my liking. I guess I really am out of practice.
Not sure what I will do for the rest of the night. Perhaps I could give the forum a little clean-up before the holidays, and maybe turn in early. I do feel tired, still. I would start reading my textbook, but I started on another book already. I suppose I could go read for a while. This is terrible. Once my work is finished, I do not know what to do with myself. Am I really a workaholic?
SINCERELY,
Connie
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| The 6th Day of Christmas |
[19 Dec 2005|06:57pm] |
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stressed |
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music |
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Hitomi Shimatani - 亜麻色の髪の乙女 |
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Less than a week till Christmas Day, and the 12 days of Christmas is 50% over. Though Winter Break began more than a week ago, I still feel as if I have not had enough time to do all the things I want to do. I used up much of that week finishing up my Christmas shopping, running errands, reading, sleeping, and cleaning. Yeah, should have started that research paper sooner than later, eh?
On the sixth day of Christmas
before I can be free
there are 6 pages of work for me.
The research paper is to be between 6-8 pages. I will probably end up with around 7 or so. I always seem to write more than I intend to. One of my problems is that I often have trouble organizing my thoughts. I am much better at creative writing than technical writing, process-wise. I can sound quite technical, but the presentation of the words themselves must first be formulated very precisely, and that is where I have the most trouble. Whenever I have too much or not enough information to work with, I begin to lose my sense of direction as to where I want to take the topics in the paper.
I should be working on it some more now, but I felt like a break was in order. It has been a long day, and it will not end until I finish this paper. I am determined to finish this and hand it in tomorrow, therefore, I will not sleep until it is done. I may have the correct ambition, but I definitely lack the motivation right now. I hate it when things are assigned with exam-week due dates. It makes me procrastinate (though ultimately, it is only I who can make myself do that), my exams get in the way, and just evokes irritation when the deadline draws ever closer.
In any case, perhaps I will have dinner soon, and continue with the research paper.
SINCERELY,
Connie
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